As what the title states, this is a add-on.
I forgot to say that whenever there is a problem in a relationship, no one should be blamed. Do you know why? Everyone is at fault. If not, it would not be called as a relationship anymore. Think about it, what is the true definition of the word relationship?
This is a common problem among couples these days, things aren't working out, one cheated the other, regardless its the male or female's fault it seems, both has made the error. There is such theory that goes "cause and effect". There must be a cause for things that happened. And that is what happening to most people out there, and that depends on how much they understand about this. But of course emotions got over what is rational, thus.... I guess you guys know what happen next right?
Sounds impossible and naive? Think about it. I've came to realise this, do you?
So next time you got yourself in such heap of a trouble, think before you act.
So long for now^^
Friday, August 13, 2010
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Love, Relationship, and others(My POV)
Had a nice discussion with my friends about love, relationship and each others thoughts about it, which triggers me to type on this post.
A romantic relationship. What is it anyway? Is it a relationship with love between both sides? The border-less care and love that is given and received? The feeling of not wanting to lose each other no matter what even that comes against them and to live happily ever after? Or just simply the use of the famous words of mouth "I Love You" that melts the heart regardless to a male or female?
If I say all the above are very common when it comes to dramas and movies or even stories, would you believe? and if I say that all these are just merely the foundation of a relationship that is bolded, CAPITALIZED, or whatever style to highlight, to exaggerate the importance of these key points till it misled many people, including me.
Lately I've came to realise these. Undeniably that these are important, however, like I've mentioned, they are just foundation for the love we seek in a relationship, and we can't depend on them solely. Besides the needs of these lovey-dovey, hocus-pocus, and etc, I realise that the need to think of the future of such relationship. Whether you want to proceed to be more serious in the relationship or not.
After more than 2 years of my relationship, I got to learn that there are also other things that are maintaining the relationship besides love. The commitment towards the relationship, the responsibility, the ability to overlook and overcome situations together, the thinking of seeking for a common goal, the protection (this does not mean guys for girls, also taken account for the other way because to be honest there are no such rights... sorry girls), the patience, the acceptance of each other weakness, and most importantly is the 'green light' in between each others family and friends.
I know of some would think that what I've stated above can be easily overcome by the word "Love". In reality, these only existed in dramas, movies and 'fairy tales' which tends to give the impression that Love can overcome all crap (forgive my choice of word) which eventually ends with "And they live happily ever after.... The End". But to be honest, you gotta be a rare case or you are highly protected where people won't want to do any harm to your relationship, regardless your gf/bf, husband/wife. Are you in that category?
The society now as so we are in and speak has different kind of people, some are kind, some who mocks. And these causes pressure to the romantic relationship, especially other type of relationship like friendship, family that have disagreements or conflicts of some sorts. The mental stress of not wanting to see each other to be hurt is the worst thing one can feel in a relationship, and that breaks the 'bridge' of couples in a romantic relationship regardless of the distance away from the problem because the problem is not solved. Love is not going to magically appear in front of the 'bridge' and say "Abra Kadabra" and turns everything fine, instead it just provide more time for the person to be hurt as those relationships especially family is as important as a romantic relationship. If you don't believe me, let me ask you this, IF you spouse and your family member/very dear friend drops into the ocean, and neither of them know how to swim, who would you save first? Its a double-edged sword I tell you, one judgement can cause a whole lot of difference and lots of damage mentally. And who say time heals? LOL
I'm not saying that anyone is naive, neither do I say I the "man" or "pro" in relationship issues, but rather i categorize myself as fortunate to be able to receive such exposure, experiences that I obtained and to witness examples as close as under one roof. Thus, i share what I know so that all of us can understand the needs and possibly realising what is hindering yourself from a wonderful relationship.^^
So long for now.... really long post I did huh...AGAIN.... XD... anyway, you are free to discuss, comment and even share you experience. Ja~
A romantic relationship. What is it anyway? Is it a relationship with love between both sides? The border-less care and love that is given and received? The feeling of not wanting to lose each other no matter what even that comes against them and to live happily ever after? Or just simply the use of the famous words of mouth "I Love You" that melts the heart regardless to a male or female?
If I say all the above are very common when it comes to dramas and movies or even stories, would you believe? and if I say that all these are just merely the foundation of a relationship that is bolded, CAPITALIZED, or whatever style to highlight, to exaggerate the importance of these key points till it misled many people, including me.
Lately I've came to realise these. Undeniably that these are important, however, like I've mentioned, they are just foundation for the love we seek in a relationship, and we can't depend on them solely. Besides the needs of these lovey-dovey, hocus-pocus, and etc, I realise that the need to think of the future of such relationship. Whether you want to proceed to be more serious in the relationship or not.
After more than 2 years of my relationship, I got to learn that there are also other things that are maintaining the relationship besides love. The commitment towards the relationship, the responsibility, the ability to overlook and overcome situations together, the thinking of seeking for a common goal, the protection (this does not mean guys for girls, also taken account for the other way because to be honest there are no such rights... sorry girls), the patience, the acceptance of each other weakness, and most importantly is the 'green light' in between each others family and friends.
I know of some would think that what I've stated above can be easily overcome by the word "Love". In reality, these only existed in dramas, movies and 'fairy tales' which tends to give the impression that Love can overcome all crap (forgive my choice of word) which eventually ends with "And they live happily ever after.... The End". But to be honest, you gotta be a rare case or you are highly protected where people won't want to do any harm to your relationship, regardless your gf/bf, husband/wife. Are you in that category?
The society now as so we are in and speak has different kind of people, some are kind, some who mocks. And these causes pressure to the romantic relationship, especially other type of relationship like friendship, family that have disagreements or conflicts of some sorts. The mental stress of not wanting to see each other to be hurt is the worst thing one can feel in a relationship, and that breaks the 'bridge' of couples in a romantic relationship regardless of the distance away from the problem because the problem is not solved. Love is not going to magically appear in front of the 'bridge' and say "Abra Kadabra" and turns everything fine, instead it just provide more time for the person to be hurt as those relationships especially family is as important as a romantic relationship. If you don't believe me, let me ask you this, IF you spouse and your family member/very dear friend drops into the ocean, and neither of them know how to swim, who would you save first? Its a double-edged sword I tell you, one judgement can cause a whole lot of difference and lots of damage mentally. And who say time heals? LOL
I'm not saying that anyone is naive, neither do I say I the "man" or "pro" in relationship issues, but rather i categorize myself as fortunate to be able to receive such exposure, experiences that I obtained and to witness examples as close as under one roof. Thus, i share what I know so that all of us can understand the needs and possibly realising what is hindering yourself from a wonderful relationship.^^
So long for now.... really long post I did huh...AGAIN.... XD... anyway, you are free to discuss, comment and even share you experience. Ja~
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Food for thought....
I guess I'm back with the topic about Subang-rians again. This time it hit me again.Well not directly though.
I believe that this is quite a new phenomenon, as many have yet to realise the existence of such issue. Or do we are just ignorant about such incidents as many have yet to experience things like this? More and more people out there have various prejudice and bad perceptions about us, and we are doing nothing about it.
The common reactions were:
1. It doesn't matter.
2. Aiya, Don't care lah.
3. I don't care. I am me, I don't care what they say. Their problem lah.
What we did not realise is that, everyone time we ignore this fact that these problem do exist, we are just running away, avoiding it. What many do not realise is that, we may withstand such issue or to refuse to acknowledge it, we are not able to solve the problem and may cause problems to the next generation.
Again, after what I've mentioned so far, I can predict the following reactions:
1. Cheh, think too much lah this person.
2. Crap. Illogical. BullS**t.
3. Amateur.
4. Etc.
But think to yourself again, will you be able to withstand such a problem? If your kids is experiencing such a problem, will you be able to teach them to get through such things? Are you sure that they can overcome it like you do? You sure that would not break down?
With such points, I believe all of us regardless where you are from have to power to change this if everyone of us realise about this. Not just acknowledge, but to also change what is the root of the problem.
For instance, I've just met this problem recently, and because of this my dear girlfriend is afraid of Subang-rians. A simple error in the webpage, a misunderstanding, an accusation and an attitude = problem for me that is totally hard to solve. If these things were to carefully thought off before advancement of the step misunderstanding, all things are done. But there are some certain thing about Subang-rians, even I do admit I was once like this, that has caused me whole lots of problem. Who is feeling all these? Me, who is stuck in the middle. And only a handful would truly understand this situation.
To add on, (so that I don't seemed bias...LOL) this is the same like how we thought of people from rural regions when we see them looking blur when dealing with things in the urban city. We tend to comment, and even mock and laugh at them. But if you were to be in their shoes, how would you feel? Food for thought...
I believe that this is quite a new phenomenon, as many have yet to realise the existence of such issue. Or do we are just ignorant about such incidents as many have yet to experience things like this? More and more people out there have various prejudice and bad perceptions about us, and we are doing nothing about it.
The common reactions were:
1. It doesn't matter.
2. Aiya, Don't care lah.
3. I don't care. I am me, I don't care what they say. Their problem lah.
What we did not realise is that, everyone time we ignore this fact that these problem do exist, we are just running away, avoiding it. What many do not realise is that, we may withstand such issue or to refuse to acknowledge it, we are not able to solve the problem and may cause problems to the next generation.
Again, after what I've mentioned so far, I can predict the following reactions:
1. Cheh, think too much lah this person.
2. Crap. Illogical. BullS**t.
3. Amateur.
4. Etc.
But think to yourself again, will you be able to withstand such a problem? If your kids is experiencing such a problem, will you be able to teach them to get through such things? Are you sure that they can overcome it like you do? You sure that would not break down?
With such points, I believe all of us regardless where you are from have to power to change this if everyone of us realise about this. Not just acknowledge, but to also change what is the root of the problem.
For instance, I've just met this problem recently, and because of this my dear girlfriend is afraid of Subang-rians. A simple error in the webpage, a misunderstanding, an accusation and an attitude = problem for me that is totally hard to solve. If these things were to carefully thought off before advancement of the step misunderstanding, all things are done. But there are some certain thing about Subang-rians, even I do admit I was once like this, that has caused me whole lots of problem. Who is feeling all these? Me, who is stuck in the middle. And only a handful would truly understand this situation.
To add on, (so that I don't seemed bias...LOL) this is the same like how we thought of people from rural regions when we see them looking blur when dealing with things in the urban city. We tend to comment, and even mock and laugh at them. But if you were to be in their shoes, how would you feel? Food for thought...
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Status update & Life
My Facebook status update: "What you are able to learn throughout the years does not make you knowledgeable, instead it depends on how much you implement what you learn, the mistakes you made out of it, and most importantly recognise, admit, remember, and most importantly not to repeat the same mistake again. Share your mistakes and learn from others mistakes is what makes you filled with contents of life."
What I just shared is the concept that I implemented in my life after all the "bumps" I faced in my life so far.... And so far, I'm still learning to get it fully incorporated in my life as a life concept and to determine if you are knowledgeable or not and not being boastful that I wish to share and pass on to the next generation. ^^
I may have been labelled as a Subang-rian, a person from a society where boastful, exaggeration, and being fanatic is part of life, not to mention labelled as a rich brat or "败家子" to the Chinese society. I admit, I may have crosses the line somehow between the term proud/pride and boastful, but in actual fact, what I say is what I do. Offended some people I may did, but I do not let my ego hold me back from seeking apologies and admitting my mistakes. These are the facts of who I am. To me, labeling or branding is a life process which anyone of us have to go through, but whether would it affects us deeply or not depends on our very own self-esteem that we rely on in our daily lives. No one can crush one's self-esteem, only you can let yourself destroy it. Undeniably, it would affect us somehow, but if we stand strong about ourselves, getting through it would not make you learn something valuable about life, and your "assets" for life, knowledge.
This is how I learn to be strong, this is how I got through these year, and I shall continue to learn and improve more despite all the "bumps" in life I meet. I do not imply that I'm knowledgeable, but its just my chance I get to learn these and through sharing of such experiences and hopefully everyone and learn and able to get through any situations that are similar. To those who I'm referring to, you'll understand. Cheers.
What I just shared is the concept that I implemented in my life after all the "bumps" I faced in my life so far.... And so far, I'm still learning to get it fully incorporated in my life as a life concept and to determine if you are knowledgeable or not and not being boastful that I wish to share and pass on to the next generation. ^^
I may have been labelled as a Subang-rian, a person from a society where boastful, exaggeration, and being fanatic is part of life, not to mention labelled as a rich brat or "败家子" to the Chinese society. I admit, I may have crosses the line somehow between the term proud/pride and boastful, but in actual fact, what I say is what I do. Offended some people I may did, but I do not let my ego hold me back from seeking apologies and admitting my mistakes. These are the facts of who I am. To me, labeling or branding is a life process which anyone of us have to go through, but whether would it affects us deeply or not depends on our very own self-esteem that we rely on in our daily lives. No one can crush one's self-esteem, only you can let yourself destroy it. Undeniably, it would affect us somehow, but if we stand strong about ourselves, getting through it would not make you learn something valuable about life, and your "assets" for life, knowledge.
This is how I learn to be strong, this is how I got through these year, and I shall continue to learn and improve more despite all the "bumps" in life I meet. I do not imply that I'm knowledgeable, but its just my chance I get to learn these and through sharing of such experiences and hopefully everyone and learn and able to get through any situations that are similar. To those who I'm referring to, you'll understand. Cheers.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Exams
Tomorrow shall mark the day of the war for my final year final semester as a Biomedical Science student... nervous...panicked... but what to do.... I still don't think I'm well prepared... no choice... have to move on... and shall I head to the examination hall with the faith in my heart and scream... MMMMMMAAAAAAARRRRRRRRSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Piece of mind
Life is like outline of a masterpiece, white with black lines, dull enough, marking our inexperience, naive. Instead of letting it be, why not colour it with the colours that you like? ^^
Monday, December 28, 2009
Upset
"some times, its quite sad to have your actions to be suspicious even if its meant to keep yourself from being in a losing situation. Most of the time is ignorable, but this time it hurts bad."
This is the sentence that got my into brain ever since an incident happened. I know its my fault, I know it wrong to ask. But I'm just trying to avoid any mistakes from happening. If this are lost in between, I have nothing to refer to, nor do I have the proof that I've done things right. If its done wrongly, who am I suppose to go to?
If I have a choice given in the same situation, I would have done the same thing again. Selfish? I don't know. Honestly, I was weighing between my lost and other's. I thought the understanding in between would resolve any conflict, though knowing myself something would happen but I just gave it a shot. Looks like now, its still ended up a bit sour. My situation, I wish some would actually understand a little more in depth, but assumption are more than it is to many. Even so, I would just give a friendly face, and even give a helping hand no matter how deep he/she throws me in a deep pit of trouble or suffers.
No, I'm not pointing fingers to anyone. Its just the same thought that got me sometimes. I've been weighing my self importance to others at times. In today's society, its not wrong to think so, but if others would to do the same thing, they would eventually think differently. Its a cause and effect world out there people say, if you don't do this, you'll get the other. Sometimes, decisions like these spoils relationships and sometimes the mental damage. The funny thing is, I don't even know which to choose, to harm others or to save self?
I've been nagged, scolded when I was a kid, and lectured when I was teenager of the same matter. I was always told that I have a big 'example' in front of my eyes, everyday of what not to do, but in the end I got myself hurt, no one knows of the existence of such problem, others happy, life goes on. Easy isn't it for others? But if it's the other way around, relationships are hurt, things goes bad, things doesn't goes on well. In either ways, I'm hurt.
If one is in my shoes, I'm not surprise if self is given more weigh than others. Reasons? Who wants to be in the giving end? Some may not feel it now, but when time comes you would. Everyone wishes others to understand them, but would those others take the step to understand others first? That's the main question.
Upset as I am now, I do not wish to upset anyone in this post. I'm sorry if I offended anyone in this post.
Long post after a long time away from blogging. Long time to read for readers. and so Long for now. Nites~
This is the sentence that got my into brain ever since an incident happened. I know its my fault, I know it wrong to ask. But I'm just trying to avoid any mistakes from happening. If this are lost in between, I have nothing to refer to, nor do I have the proof that I've done things right. If its done wrongly, who am I suppose to go to?
If I have a choice given in the same situation, I would have done the same thing again. Selfish? I don't know. Honestly, I was weighing between my lost and other's. I thought the understanding in between would resolve any conflict, though knowing myself something would happen but I just gave it a shot. Looks like now, its still ended up a bit sour. My situation, I wish some would actually understand a little more in depth, but assumption are more than it is to many. Even so, I would just give a friendly face, and even give a helping hand no matter how deep he/she throws me in a deep pit of trouble or suffers.
No, I'm not pointing fingers to anyone. Its just the same thought that got me sometimes. I've been weighing my self importance to others at times. In today's society, its not wrong to think so, but if others would to do the same thing, they would eventually think differently. Its a cause and effect world out there people say, if you don't do this, you'll get the other. Sometimes, decisions like these spoils relationships and sometimes the mental damage. The funny thing is, I don't even know which to choose, to harm others or to save self?
I've been nagged, scolded when I was a kid, and lectured when I was teenager of the same matter. I was always told that I have a big 'example' in front of my eyes, everyday of what not to do, but in the end I got myself hurt, no one knows of the existence of such problem, others happy, life goes on. Easy isn't it for others? But if it's the other way around, relationships are hurt, things goes bad, things doesn't goes on well. In either ways, I'm hurt.
If one is in my shoes, I'm not surprise if self is given more weigh than others. Reasons? Who wants to be in the giving end? Some may not feel it now, but when time comes you would. Everyone wishes others to understand them, but would those others take the step to understand others first? That's the main question.
Upset as I am now, I do not wish to upset anyone in this post. I'm sorry if I offended anyone in this post.
Long post after a long time away from blogging. Long time to read for readers. and so Long for now. Nites~
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